


Where Does The Good Go?

by Kellie_116



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Body Image, F/M, One-Sided Relationship, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:59:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14815290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kellie_116/pseuds/Kellie_116
Summary: Inspired by the Tegan and Sara song of the same name.





	Where Does The Good Go?

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything - for this fandom or any other - in over a year, so I'm pretty out of practice. I hope you enjoy anyway.

_Where do you go with your broken heart in tow?_

_What do you do with the left over you?_

_And how do you know when to let go?_

_Where does the good go?_

_Where does the good go?_

 

She can’t believe he’s really leaving. She understands, of course, because he’s got a beautiful baby boy who needs him safe and sound and a beautiful wife to come home to every night, but none of that stops the aching in her chest as she walks him walk out the door for the last time.

 

They’ve been through so much together, she and Morgan, and it doesn’t quite feel real to see that he’s leaving. She tries to pull herself together, tries to ignore the pain in her heart and tell herself that she’s not jealous.

 

She’s not jealous that Derek Freaking Morgan of all people is a parent before she is. She’s not jealous that he has someone to go home to at night when the only thing waiting for her is a bottle of cheap wine. And she’s definitely not jealous that he finally tied the knot and settled down with someone that’s not her.

 

Somehow she can’t stop the feeling that everything that’s ever been good in her new life in Virginia - and how long has it been since she thought of the FBI as her “new” life? - just turned in its badge and gun and walked out the door.

 

_Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive._

_Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go._

_Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love._

_Look me in the heart and un-break broken, it won't happen._

 

The one thing she has to cling to, the one silver lining she can find here, is that it wasn’t a baby girl. _Thank God_. Being Morgan’s baby girl has been one of the few things keeping her sane as horror upon horror flashed across her screen every day, and she’s not sure she would be able to survive if she had to share the title, even with an actual baby.

 

She remembers the time, years ago, pretty soon after he started dating Savannah, when Morgan made a point of telling her that he didn’t call her baby girl. The reassurance had caught her off-guard - it had never even occurred to her that that was the remotest of possibilities. She, for one, would never flirt with anyone quite the way she flirted with Derek, so even the idea of him calling someone else by her special name turned her stomach.

 

It was then that she began to wonder if she was replaceable, if just any curvy blonde could fill what she had thought to be a specifically Penelope-shaped spot in Morgan’s heart. She really did find herself clutching her stomach and rushing for the ladies’ room when it occurred to her that maybe someone else could fill that hole _better_ , that maybe she’d been trying to force herself into a space better suited for a slim, naturally beautiful doctor than a plus-size former felon in glittery eye shadow.

 

_It's love that breaks the seal of always thinking you would be_

_Real happy and healthy, strong and calm._

_Where does the good go?_

_Where does the good go?_

 

Once upon a time, it had legitimately never crossed her mind that someday Derek would leave the BAU, let alone that he would leave before she did. While she knew intellectually that her Federal-Bureau-or-federal-detention deal meant she’d probably be around longer than most of her team, Morgan had always seemed to be a fixture, immovable even in times of trouble and immune to storms and trials alike.

 

What in the world was she going to do without him?

 

 


End file.
